Neurodiversity, trauma and looking to the future
As we come to the conclusion, we are reminded in Chapter 7 of the importance of considering the bottom up influences on behavior first and respecting the individual differences of each child. I would add that we need to do the same for ourselves and those we live and work with. At the end of the day, relationships provide the foundation of safety and allow us to thrive with a level of “nutritional” stress. We all need to continue to grow in our skills to self-regulate beginning in early childhood and continuing into adulthood. When we miss or stop growing in our skills to self-regulate it typically means that we are under a level of stress that is preventing our growth. It also means that we don’t have the level of relational safety we need in order to manage the stress we are under.
The relationships we develop with the children we support appreciate the individual differences of the child and seek to learn how the child’s behaviors are an attempt to manage their experiences. In Chapter 8 we explore the very sad but real world of childhood trauma. In this circumstance we are encouraged to “assume” that any negative behavioral response is a remnant of a protective defensive response. Relationship is highly critical in these circumstances focusing on providing the child with relational safety. It is this foundation of safety that allows the child to begin to grow in their social emotional development that was halted and sometimes regressed due to the trauma.
In Chapter 9 we learn of the acronym H-E-A-L:
H-ave a positive experience
E-nrich it
A-bsorb it
L-ink positive and negative material
Positive experiences provide that sense of safety and relation that allow for the child’s social-emotional and neuro-diverse systems to organize and connect. This is the process of neuroplasticity. We can be one of those relational connections that provide safety, manageable stress, and the opportunity to build positive neural connections.
Question of the week
Wow, as I write this question, this will be the third time I have read this book. Each time I read it I feel overwhelmed with the responsibility we have as adults working with children with behavioral challenges and at the same time challenged to grow in my skills. As you complete this study, share what has impacted you the most in this study? What if anything has changed or blossomed in your understanding and strategies to support children with behavioral challenges?
Goodrich-Garza Education 
This was such an insightful book. I feel like it’s one of those books you can re-read and find a new nugget of information to apply.
What impacted me most about this study is the importance of forming relationships with our students. The concept seems so simplistic, but it is the foundation for addressing behavior. I have always tried to form relationships, but I will make a more purposeful effort going forward. The pathways were helpful in organizing my thoughts about where a child is functioning and how to get them back to the green pathway where they can communicate, play, and learn.
Throughout the book the author discusses how behavioral management is an interdisciplinary approach. A wide range of professionals were listed. Previously, I would view behavioral management as something the school psychologist or the behavioral specialist addressed along with the classroom teacher. What has resonated most with me is that my role as a physical therapist can be integral to behavioral management, and I should take a more active role in the process.
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I loved the book and bought my own copy so I can refer back to it as needed.
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Whitnee, I feel the same way. I definitely want to revisit this book again in the future and utilize those “nuggets” of wisdom. It really does take a village to make things work in a school, especially for those kiddos who just need more support to stay on a green pathway. I enjoyed hearing the perspectives of teachers, specialists, and related service providers within this book study!
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I agree that it takes a village, and as trauma isn’t going away, we have to be more prepared to help our students.
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I thought this was an amazing book! I really love that ideas I have used through the years and the interactions I have had with children are affirmed in this book. It has really brought home the fact that we need to get to ground zero to find out the reasons for these behaviors and work up from there. We went through Covid together and we saw the trauma in both our students and their families. We have recently gone through Hurricane Beryl in our district and that has caused more trauma to our entire community. We have to find ways to help our students get beyond the trauma, because if they can’t get beyond it, they aren’t going to learn! I liked the ideas for the worksheets that are given to the students to get their honest opinions on things and not just say things that they think they are supposed to say. It takes all of us working together for the good of the students. Sometimes we get help from parents and other educational/medical professionals, but sometimes, it’s just us. Books like this give us that resource to go to when we need that help!
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I love how you were able to relate it to recent events.
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Getting to “ground zero” is so important! Finding the bottom of the iceburg, where we can help our students and their families start to heal and learn is essential. Covid was hard! Beryl was hard! We all go through hard things and the best way to get through it all is to support each other.
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One of the most valuable insights from this study is the importance of relational safety in helping children manage stress and grow. I’ve come to see behaviors not as problems to be fixed but as signals of underlying stress or unmet needs.
The H-E-A-L approach has been particularly enlightening. It highlights the importance of creating positive experiences and helping students connect these experiences to their emotions and senses. This method offers a compassionate way to support children in building resilience and healthier coping mechanisms.
Learning about childhood trauma has also been eye-opening. It has reinforced the need for a compassionate perspective when dealing with negative behaviors, viewing them as remnants of protective responses rather than misbehavior.
Overall, this study has deepened my understanding of how behavior, stress, and relational safety are interconnected. It has encouraged me to continually improve my skills and strategies to provide the most effective and compassionate support to the students I work with.
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The chapters about Top Down or Bottom Up approach impacted me the most. It is not just about “getting rid of the behavior” but understanding the root of the behavior. Once we understand the root of the behavior we can help the child build capacity to regulate emotions which is an important skill that the child will be able to use for the rest of his life.
Learning about the pathways and the checklist of what it looks like is very helpful for me as an evaluator. I am thinking about including them in my observations both in the classroom and during evaluations with the intention of providing information that campus staff may find helpful.
Overall, the entire book provided a different apporach to understanding student’s individual behaviors.
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I feel the same too. Having an understanding of top-down and bottom-up understanding is huge! I have a whole new way of trying to get to the bottom of why the behavior is occurring, and that feels great. I think I almost always tried to fix or help the behavior not figure out the why.
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Hi Gay!! I agree it was very insightful to learn about top down and bottom up behaviors. I feel it helps us be compassionate about the student and get to know him or her even better instead of just trying to get rid of the behavior or suggest a replacement one. Thank you for sharing!
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I enjoyed this book and being a part of the book study where I got to see how others felt and what they understood from each chapter.
I have a better understanding of how to look at or see behaviors and better understand the why behind the behavior. I like all the worksheets as reminders of different strategies we can use. I will also use the worksheets with the indicators of the pathways and the house. In these last chapters, I loved how it reminded us that play is so important, sometimes we need to take a step back from academics and build relationships and trust and have a little fun with our students.
I learned so much and hope that the information I learned will help me be a better teacher and advocate for our students.
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I agree with you on the importance of play and building a relationship and trust with students.
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I have enjoyed reading this book. I like the fact that it stresses how important it is for a team approach. Different disciplines have different views, and it helps to discuss and compare as a team, to help our students. I really like the information that was provided in chapter 7. It provided information to help me be able to discuss what are perceived as “stimming” versus self-calming type behaviors. I am often asked how to stop these behaviors. The book has good information to apply when working with students and even adults regarding identifying what pathway they are on.
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One of the aspects of this study that most impacted me is the importance of self-awareness and maintaining a balanced emotional state to provide our students with the support they need. We’ve all heard that we cannot pour from an empty cup, but what I appreciated about this book were the strategies it offered for pausing, identifying our triggers, and managing them to become a safe and calm presence for our students.
I benefited from this book in many ways, but I believe the most significant is that it provided me with the vocabulary to describe what I observe in a child. Additionally, the house illustration was particularly useful for guiding me in identifying the root causes of behavior and offering a concrete way to explain these insights to other educators and parents.
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I also think the house illustration is a quick and easy “mind’s eye” tool to pull up for reference. Also, the iceberg illustration is also another quick reference when working with student’s and remembering we all have underlying supports and challenges affecting our behavioral responses.
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Thanks for your feedback on the book. It looks like you all have learned a new way to look at and respond to behavior. Also, perhaps even more important, it has provided a vocabulary for describing and addressing behaviors in a way that make sense to people who may not have as much background in the area. I know I have benefitted from your thoughtful discussion and, like you, hope that I can serve my students even better this year!
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This book study has given me lots of ideas and things to remember, along with user-friendly tools. I really appreciate the various worksheets included in this book study. I would like to create a quick reference folder of these ideas that I could use as a readily available reference and to share certain ones with teachers and staff as appropriate. Another “tool” in the “back pocket” is very much appreciated! The worksheets definitely give concrete information in a clear and understandable format. So I am happy to have these as a strategy when needed. Also, this study has definitely reinforced what I have always felt to be true, that observed behaviors are usually not a superficial response. Reading and learning about bottom up/top down and the iceberg depiction has given me great strategies to use. I tend to be a visual learner and I can quickly and easily visualize these concepts. I know reading and doing are two different things. However, I look forward to this next school year to keep the information in this study at the forefront and share with others as potential strategies to support our children with, and without, behavioral challenges. My new favorite quote: “ When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower” (Alexander Den Heijer, Chapter 9 beginning quote).
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I have loved reading this book! Having 2 boys by adoption, I have learned a lot of how trauma wires the brain. One particularly struggles with felt safety. I never realized until going through life with him, how much our beginning days determine who we are and how we regulate. Luckily, there is hope and we can start to build our house again. I have learned the need for connection over correction with my students. If they can feel safe first, then we can accomplish great things. I’ve learned the importance to not look at the surface behavior as the big problem. I have had many insights from the book how to wait to respond, think of the iceberg, know what pathway I’m on all before responding. I am excited to have this book to go back to and share with others to read.
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Lauren- I love that, connection versus correction! Thanks for sharing. I remember our LSSP explaining how one student’s life experiences taught him that he can’t trust adults to keep their promises. He was going through the process of adoption at this time we began working with him. This was so enlightening when we were trying to support his need for immediate feedback from adults. When he was told to wait, his brain was wired to think- this will never happen and this adult will not meet my needs. Rebuilding that house and understanding those icebergs will truly help me working with kids moving forward.
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I have really enjoyed this book study. I appreciate the language Delahooke uses and the perspective on understanding behavior that it provides. I think we often see behavior as something that we need to prevent or stop, but really this book reminded me to understand the whole child and what each child needs to succeed. We aren’t just supporting a child to “stop” a behavior that is disruptive, we are supporting the child in all aspects, which promotes a healthier, more successful environment. I love how the book encourages the whole team to collaborate and adjust their approaches based on what each individual child needs. I’m looking forward to using and promoting a lot of the language used in the book moving forward. The pathways are so helpful for both adults and students. Hearing Norton’s story and looking at his iceberg helped me see again that the little glimpse we have through a behavior such as snapping, is just the tiniest piece of their story. I love the approach they took with Norton by using his snapping as a signal for assistance rather than a behavior that needed to be removed or replaced. I definitely plan to keep this book handy to help me understand behaviors and use appropriate language and approaches with families, students, colleagues, and when writing IEPs. It’s also a reminder that relationships with positive experiences are key, and we need to find the time to build trust and model safety.
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The thing that has impacted me the most is realizing that in order to help a child regulate their emotions, I may need to dig deeper into their past to understand what skills they are lacking. I always knew that behavior is communication. This book showed me that behavior could be caused by issues experienced even in the womb and the iceberg visual helped me to see that what may be causing a behavior can run very deep. This book has given me so many ideas and resources that I can use in my classroom and with parents and students to really understand how I can help. It also made me wonder how or who I need to reach out to in order to get the help needed for my students and their parents. Who would be the first point of contact? LSSP? School Counselor? I would appreciate a direction on this. Thank you for offering this book study! I have gained so much information and hope to implement many of these strategies into my classroom.
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As you complete this study, what has impacted you the most?
The most impactful aspect of this study has been the emphasis on understanding behavior through a bottom-up approach, particularly highlighted in Chapter 7. Recognizing the importance of self-regulation and relational safety in managing behavior has been enlightening. The structured analysis of how physiological and emotional factors influence behavior has provided me with a clearer framework for addressing behavioral issues.
What has changed or blossomed in your understanding and strategies to support children with behavioral challenges?
This study has significantly enhanced my understanding of how interdisciplinary approaches can contribute to behavioral management. Specifically, the integration of self-regulation strategies and the H-E-A-L framework has refined my approach. I now appreciate the value of creating positive experiences and linking them to emotional and behavioral outcomes. Moving forward, I plan to incorporate these strategies into my practice, ensuring a more comprehensive approach to supporting students. This involves applying a systematic method to understand and address the root causes of behavioral challenges, rather than focusing solely on surface behaviors.
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As I reflect on this study, the most profound impact has been the deepened understanding of the importance of empathy and relational safety in supporting our students. Chapter 8’s exploration of childhood trauma resonated with me on a personal level. It highlighted how crucial it is to view negative behaviors not as mere disruptions but as protective responses stemming from deeper issues. This perspective has shifted my approach significantly.
The study has also brought to light the vital role of building strong, supportive relationships with our students. Learning about the H-E-A-L framework in Chapter 9 has been particularly inspiring. The idea of creating positive experiences and helping students link these experiences to their emotions is both powerful and gentle. It’s a reminder of how we can nurture resilience and growth in our students, much like nurturing our own children with love and support.
This study has blossomed into a renewed commitment to fostering a nurturing environment in my classroom. I am more dedicated than ever to integrating these compassionate approaches into my daily interactions with students. By focusing on creating a safe space and supporting their emotional needs, I believe I can help my students navigate their challenges with greater resilience and confidence. This journey has truly reinforced the importance of empathy and connection in our work with children.
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I couldn’t agree more with the part about the renewed commitment. I love a good summer pd that propels me into a new school year with valuable reminders and new approaches. We can always use a good reminder to exercise empathy with our students. The certainly need it now more than ever.
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This is a great book and I have enjoyed this book study.
Chapter 7 was especially impactful, “It’s essential to understand how a child’s sensory responsivity and other individual differences influence observable behaviors and to use this understanding in determining how to support each child.” This is definitely a shift in what I have been taught in the past and something that will drive my interactions with my students.
The worksheets on talking to children about their sensory needs are very helpful. I love her point of helping children understand how your body feels when it’s sad or angry vs just having them label feelings from looking at pictures or drawings.
As a Structured Learning Lab teacher I think I will find myself rereading parts of this chapter(along with chapter 4) after a rough day. The reminder that all behavior is communication, as well as, the tips on giving ourselves grace will help me return to green rather than beating myslef up.
I hope that what I learned will help me be better prepared and more compassionate when dealing with challenging behaviors.
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Early last year someone said, “we don’t know what we don’t know.” And for some reason, that has really stuck with me in so many situations. Taking a human growth and development course and doing this book study at the same time has been a huge learning experience. The content of this book is something we should all know. These are the kinds of things that need to be part of required professional development because this information can make such a profound impact on educators, but more importantly, our students. In the same way, relationship building should be something that is part of our ongoing education. It seems so simple, but not everyone gets it, and everyone has room to grow. It’s astounding how much you can learn about a person just by getting to know them. And with the right person, kid’s will open up quickly and fully. There are SO many things that can be impacting their behavior. The trick is pinpointing what it is. And the key to the pinpoint lies in building a trusting relationship.
One thing I really liked about the book is the practical applications she provides. The iceberg concept and the acronyms make the information easier to recall. Moving forward I could see myself having a lightbulb moment where an acronym clicks into place. Or taking a moment to consider a student’s iceberg. The worksheets can also be a great resource. I can’t decide if I am going to keep this book close to me for quick reference, or if I should pass it on to others, particularly the new teachers I mentor.
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It is so very wonderful to read all of the great comments as we wind this book study down. So many of you have shared how you see further applications of the book in your daily work. You are an inspirational group. As an extension I wanted to offer to you, the district owns 7 copies of the book that you could check out to do a study with your team or suggest to your admin team, etc. Just a thought.
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